Parent Child Relationships

 The cloud of ambivalence was filling my sky. I was in between a personal issue that shouldn't be addressed and a random ruckus where our views shouldn't be neglected.

I am a good swimmer and I wouldn't want to dive into this ocean of story writing without rendering a tea of apology, lol. I hung my pen for some time because it needed rest….this is an inked joke and I must tell you, it isn't something the ears would fancy. Pride is a thing you know, protecting it shows how vulnerable I can be. In a world of consistency being consistent is key.

 I shuffled my cards in a quest to broaden my horizon, spinning around the narrow way of interrogation and practical discussions with friends who were ready to express their opinions, vent their spleen on matters arising and also render pieces of advice to the evolving generations that are willing to resonate. I want y’all to know that this topic was born out of the frustration I encountered during this pandemic break, lol, I couldn't allow all the peeve and vexation evaporate into the atmosphere, so I decided to make something out of it. Cool right🤪?

On the contrary you shouldn't be in the dark even if these are dark matters, I'm still not going to neglect the fact that no one is above correction and that we ain’t so young to soro soke. I hope to set this piece into the blistering sky for all to read, our parents most especially. I know I bake the best of cake please do not hesitate to share with anyone. Thank you ❤️

Parents to child relationship is a big deal, no negotiations allowed, one of the most imperative relationships dialectically scribbling. From the time of our inception, this affinity plays a huge part in our mental, physical, spiritual and moral growth and if not properly orchestrated could jeopardize a lot of bearings.

Lets view a point, Every child has a mind constantly firing neurons filled with opinion and thoughts. They visualize, assess and fathom things in their small cyclic mind. I believe parents have a responsibility to impact their kids with strong motives to air their views on topics within their age capacity without being rude or disrespectful. When they cast the die of ineptitude, the fairness of correction should be applied with love, and clinical discipline should not be abused for the sake of bending them to the right shape less they become shapeless in all thought process, making the whole process complex in complexity of processing a child the right way.

Just as lack of vitamins affect the human system. Lack of communication can be an impediment. Communication opens up pods of clear indication which brings about a whole lot of exponential information. This article is centered around communication….speaking of communication, surely I have been communicating and in the process, opinions from various dimensions has been quintessential in rendition. I had a conversation with a parent in which I asked questions about the communication function between a child and a parent and how well does this line of action play out in a home. Trust me it was more than a caesarean section

Being a Nigerian is hard work, I know this wouldn't be embraced by all as most culture has its lapses, allowing us to dive into various ideology like there are no better and more convenient ways for parents and children to have a better relationship.

I guess we all grew up with the mentalities that children are to speak only when they are asked to, to hold no other believes other than their parent’s, to condone every act positive or negative by any elder. The picture painted here is that of a  lost child who clings to the notion of people way older without having a chance of its own with respect to the constant that times have changed and things aren't the same anymore.

I do not totally neglect the fact that there are basic morals that our cultures support that has made our lives so much better, its is incontrovertible that these teachings taught are necessary to us, But I want this to be noted - times has changed drastically, the principles needs a bit of reform and the method used in teaching these principles should be scrutinize for a better result

There is a saying by a promising poet danibrian “don’t be the mistake in your own correction” correction is a core section that involves pragmatic wisdom in interpretation. As parents if you flip the wrong channel of correction you change the entire station of how a child should be corrected. 

Children under the radical image are surprisingly conformist. They can respond to certain things in different ways. Building a network of communication with your kids can be so romantic. It allows for freedom of expression. I believe the way parents go about their children’s affair says a lot about the kids. I know of a principle that stems from the way kids behave, if you don’t draw a child closer to you, they become clandestine in their ways. And they tend to equate a balance outside of home thereby seeking for the connection elsewhere. I'm sure we must have heard stuffs like "that's not how my parents taught me" "this is how my parents trained me so I'll train you like that," lol this is basically my dad's method. Honestly, most parents do this and it's surprising how the trend is still ongoing from years backs. Method of solving a problem can become anachronistic for the most part if the diversity of the equation is vast. Parents needs to update their software of ancient ways in a contemporary world.. Development, technology, education has evolved in the governing world. it's sappy to stick to one line of understanding. parents needs to reevaluate their yardstick so that this cliché doesn’t last forever.

Parents needs to fathom the idea of putting their kids under the spotlight.. A view in sight speaks of  Kenny a young girl who loves books and is known for reading a lot. When trying to discipline Kenny, why not look for a book of that special author she likes, talking specifically about the area of correction. ( obviously the rate of finding a book like that is 1/10 but you understand what I mean yh?🌚). You need to know that the point is not in the author she likes or the title of the book but the fact that you are correcting in her way of interest. Imagine Kenny reading about a book talking exactly on what you corrected her on earlier, don't you think that would trigger rapid submission??? Exactly what I thought too😉

Its easy to envisage that every child has a special interest. You do not correct A the same way you correct B and vice versa. I believe there are situations whereby General correction comes in and the need to handle situations like that is necessary but still, correction with care is paramount, correction without comparison has to be the peak of the triangle.. And mind you, I am in concordance with the use of the rod when it's necessary. No child outgrows its application., lol. The Bible also approve of the motion so we shouldn’t neglect the form of discipline.

I'm of the opinion that no one is above mistakes and we need the help of God to train our kids. Even as parents we are susceptible to errors, that’s what makes us human but the sagacity to manage an erroneous situation makes the difference. Personally, I believe communication with transparency makes for a better parent-child relationship. With these lateral thoughts of mine in which I have worked your eyes, brain and mind over intuitive matters, I hope y’all are able to fetch from the drum of aphorism inclusively by and large. All I crave for is a better world where our minds are interconnected in a world full of disconnection in relation to the order of heaven which is the family.

For we as kids, we shouldn't forget  the only commandment with a promise that says obey our parents so we could live long. I'm sure we all do want to live long, so no matter how frustrating it might be sometimes. Truthfully it's quite frustrating sometimes, I really do believe that we can still zero our minds  to obey and act right.

 And to our parents yh, I know you all love us and want the best for us, but please the Bible also speaks about you not provoking your kids to anger, please do well not to open the doors of danger to your kids because of ignorance.

And just before I leave you let me just chip this in. Whilst chatting with a friend, he advised having time alone with family frequently, discussing issues that would be ignored on a regular day, allowing children to voice out and talk about things that bothers them about the family, basically talking about the movement of the family. Now tell me, how nice is that? I promise you, if we as parents humble ourselves and listen attentively to what this new generations has to say, I'm sure we would all be bemused. Listen to your child, it's worth it!🙂.

Last quote by William James says: ‘The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.’

We nourish the bodies of our children and friends, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem? We provide them with rice and chicken  to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years like the music of the morning stars.

 Honestly I believe results expected from reprimand, appreciating in the right way would do far better than you imagined. Appreciation instead of rebuke from superior is one way to change the relationships of this age for good. When handling issues, ensure to lean to the side of appreciation than the side of rebuke. Parenting is a big deal and the prayer is that we become better parents to our kids👏🏾

Thank you for your time.  I await your remark which I believe would be full of appreciation 😁♥️.