Dating as teenagers

It has always been a question on my mind; I needed to hear the views of others concerning this “DATING” of a thing, so I did something like an interview with most of my contacts.

The question was “what’s your definition on dating? Like we’re definitely going to get married so we need to start preparing for it now yh? that’s where dating falls in yh? Or it’s just to pass time. Please explain, don’t really get”.

Well, the part whereby I said I don’t get wasn’t true because I have my own opinion on what dating is all about, But I needed to hear your view that’s why I said so. Forgive me if I lied (😉🌚).  

Well, I got over 25 responses to this question, which actually means more than 25 people replied to the question.

So many people had the same ideology, so I’m going to state some of the answers and merge the rest. Then, later on, ill state my own opinion since I didn’t give any answer to those that asked for my opinion. 

It’s going to be a long run, so sit tight and enjoy (😀😀) but before I go into that, I want to say thank you once more, I had a wonderful time replying and also learning (💪)

*1^st ideology;

Some were with the ideology that dating isn’t till when you want to get married. I feel they all have the mentality that dating can be practiced anytime you feel you’re ready, not till when you want to marry. This also means they might date early enough just for the experience and know how a relationship really works

Obed said, “to me, I feel it’s okay to date, as in find love early, as long as you both are on the same roadmap which is to help build each other”. Nice contribution tho (🌚) but he made a condition, I quote. “ but date when it’s convenient for you, when your mind and heart is emotionally ready for any shock, when you’ve worked enough on yourself till you’re sure you can manage and condone someone else. Don’t date cause you're under pressure to be in a relationship”

Dunni said “dating is sharing, knowing, giving and forgetting. Yes and no, it’s a stage to marriage. But we are youths; nowadays we have turned it into child’s play. So I’ll just say it’s for matured and serious one’s whether teenagers or not.

Chinyere said ”dating simply means getting to know a certain person you like in order to build a strong relationship based on trust, love (not lust). Dating is also the first step taken towards a relationship in order for an individual to escape the consequences of getting married to a toxic person.

Nonso said “dating is like a preparation for marriage, you get to understand things especially girls, you get to know how to stay faithful, honest. You also get to learn heartbreaks and stuffs. It prepares you for the big thing just like secondary school and university.

*2^nd ideology;

 while some were with the mentality that it’s a normal something that has to be done anytime, either to pass time or not (👀)

Uche said “dating is just two opposite sex who decides and agrees to be a part of each other’s life, doesn’t really mean you both will get married. But both sex must have reasonable reasons why they are dating each other.

Ronke said “to me tho, some relationships are just to pass time cause not all guys have the intention of getting married to you”

Lemuel said “relationship to me is a romantic thing; it’s also a way of knowing your future partner”

And a friend of mine said “to me, I don’t see dating as we’re eventually going to get married or something, it might get to that tho but I don’t think about it at all. We’re still very young so as this our age I don’t see dating as anything other than to have fun. I’m saying this as a teenager, for older people like 25 and above they can probably say they are looking into marriage” nice point tho (😏)

*3^rd ideology;

 And some were with the mentality that we should only go into dating with the mindset that I’m going to marry this person, all other reasons are (🙅)

Deola said “dating must happen before marriage because you can’t just see someone and just get married. It’s like a process; you guys get to know each other better. And for me, dating for teenagers is simply a JOKE. Teenagers date because they are lost and some date cause of the sexual shit they want to do

Loral said “it shouldn’t be something done to pass time unless you also want to get married to pass time. I believe that you should date someone you have an intention on marrying or being serious with. I don’t feel you should date because your mates are dating

Temi said “dating is having a partner which will be able to guide you in whatever you go through in life, someone that doesn’t only see both of you today but sees both of you in the future, building up things together.

Ayanfe said “I feel you’re not ready to start dating until you’re ready to get married, don’t arouse the love now. Also, it might likely lead to premarital sex.

Tosin said “he’s only going to go into a relationship when he’s ready to set up a marriage. Cause if you go into it now, the things you don’t wish to happen are the things that begin to happen. Most guys now see dating as a time to flex and it is not meant to be so

Florence said “nowadays people date to pass time, but as for me it depends on your mindset, depends on what you’re aiming for. If you want to start a courtship from the age you can, you just have to tell yourself the truth that I’m in this relationship because I want it unending, I want it to lead to marriage and you pray about it. She made an example of herself, been in a relationship for 6 years without sex, she said she told God and prayed about it and God has been faithful.

Emmanuel a.k.a emmey vio (😙) said “ dating is cool when the focus is marriage but most teenagers now see dating as giving one person at a particular time the license to do whatever he/she feels to do with you including sex, which we all know is wrong.

Bisola said “I don’t think people at a young age should get into it because if something eventually happens, you could have a bad mindset about marriage. Why not save yourself the stress?

My opinion

Soooo…that’s all the definitions I could put down, there were more but I couldn’t put them down due to some reasons, but thanks tho, it helped me a lot, I really mean it(😊).

And now for my opinion, I go for the 3^rd ideology tho, I’m not saying the 1^st ideology was completely wrong tho but to a certain point it was. A point was made (tho I didn’t put that down) that you can date to get to know each other better, but I put it to you,

 Do we need to be date before we can know ourselves better? Like we could be best of friends and all, but do we really need to date?

Yh it’s true, I don’t need to be old enough before I can be classified as mature, I can be mature now as a teenager and decide to go into a relationship. But do you think that’s all it is? Do you know that I can say to myself a million times that I’m matured but when I go into it I begin to act childish?

I was once in that school of thought, believe me. I felt there was a need for experience at this teenage age because I wouldn’t want to marry a toxic person all because I hadn’t gotten a whole lot of experiences. I felt being matured was all that was needed, but can we overcome temptations?

 In the 3^rd ideology, someone said "in order to avoid premarital sex or anything we don’t wish to do, we shouldn’t date so early or young, and to be honest that’s just it for me.

I have said this before, in a research, it was said that “it takes the brain 21 days, approximately 3 weeks for a feeling to leave the brain”. For example, you see a girl, you like her and you decide you must date her, you try all your possible best and when you finally get her, you’re happy that you’ve succeeded. Weeks or months into the relationship you begin to notice that you can’t be with this person and you have to leave the relationship, you leave, you meet another person, the cycle continues. It’s just so unfortunate tho (😞)

 What people don’t understand is that the feelings will surely come, they will surely come, and it’s just left to you. If you don’t set your priorities right, you’ll continue being tossed from one end to another.

That’s why we hear so many people saying guys/girls are scum, blah blah blah. They are not scum!😔 Well, on a second thought they might be actually, but that doesn’t mean the fault is theirs, you gave them the chance, it was your choice. I believe if you were close friends before going into the relationship with him/her, you’ll understand that the person wasn’t meant for you

The truth is that your orientation matters a lot (adura made that point), I’m not going against the fact that you can date at an early age, but now that you want to date, what’s your reason behind it?

Do you just want to have fun or you just want to be known as somebody’s girlfriend, or because you feel you really love this person and you would die if you don’t date the person?

It’s on rare cases, like very rare you see teenagers in a relationship that isn’t leading to premarital sex. I believe that only happens when both sexes are on the same ground and with the same thinking. But that isn’t sill an excuse. Remember I said its “rare”. Bisola (my 1^st child 😏) said why not save yourself the stress?

You should already know that I'm not  going for the 2^nd ideology in any way (no offense tho), because their main reason is just to have fun and tbh they are free to have fun as far as  the other person is also with the mindset to have fun, soooo all the best for them😜.

I stand to be corrected tho🙋, this is my opinion and I’m trying to say it as plain as I can be, I don’t even want to go in spiritually (😁😁) I just want to reason the way everyone is reasoning. Thanks for your contribution and time, feel free to comment.💗💗